Minnie has taken it upon herself to be the best or worst (I’m not sure which) back seat driver. Every single lamppost we pass she shouts ‘Be careful Mummy’. It’s no fun sitting next to her any more I can tell you.. Repetitive doesn’t come into it. Have you seen how many lampposts are out there?
I have realised that Mummy isn’t quite as shit hot as she should be with her manners. Consequently every time she asks me to do something I’m ignoring her until she says Please at least 3 times. She’s got to learn.
Minnie decided to scare the bejesus out of Mummy today by sneaking through the bushes into next doors garden and hiding. Mummy was frantic, she was just about to call the Police/fire brigade again when she heard a little voice saying ‘Hi Mummy’ through the bushes. Teddy was sent over to rescue her. Woah! Mummy was in tears and then got very very grumpy with Minnie. Ha! Glad it wasn’t me in trouble. I just smiled sweetly.
Oh yes, I’ve nailed it! I know exactly what to do to get to number one one the ‘Favourite child leader board’.
I wait till Mummy is looking grumpy, stressed or upset and I go over to her wrap my arms around her neck and say ‘It’s ok Mummy, it’s ok’ and for added brownie points I pat her back’. Oh she laps it up! I could burn the house down after one of those special cuddles and she’d forgive me in a heartbeat. Note to self: apply one of said cuddles next time I have pooped on my bedroom floor and stood in it thus walking it through the house, before she notices.
Our big bruv is so deep. This morning at breakfast he turned to Mummy and said ‘Mummy, can I ask you something?’
‘Anything darling’ she said whilst buttering the lunch for school.
‘What hurts more, physical or emotional pain?’
Silence.. Errm, Teddy that’s pretty deep for a Friday morning eat your toast and we can chat about it later she spluttered. Sure I heard her muttering a bad word under her breath. I love existential questions like that at 7.30 am..
Mummy took Teddy to the Lantern Festival today and we had to stay at home with 2 new babysitters. They were super cool and let us climb all over the new sofas and still gave us ice lollies even though we totally ignored them until they let us eat dinner in the playhouse in the garden. They can come again.
Got stung by a wasp on my leg today. Who knew hitting them with my big bruvs light-sabre would produce such a vicious response? Got to watch 3 episodes of Power Rangers and have a couple of Gummy Bears though so it could have been worse. Next time I’ll remember to whack ’em and run faster.